Thursday, September 21, 2006

Why am I anti-social?

This is not a rhetorical question. I really would like to know. So let me explain my thought process and situation to you and maybe you can give me a little insight as to how I can get over this.

Ok so I am now living in a place where I did not grow up and do not have as many close friends as I did back in AZ. I feel like in general (and this is totally my opinion) I am a very friendly approachable person. I have never really had a problem making new friends in the past, but I seem to be struggling with this ever since I moved to Utah. It's not that I don't like having friends, or that I don't like hanging out, I think I just don't like making the effort. Instead of hanging out with new people in a place where I don't have very many friends, I would rather stay at home by myself than maybe feeling a little awkward meeting new people . Why is that? Why can't I just get over a couple lame nights of smalltalk if I could potentially meet a new friend? And maybe it just comes down to me being impatient. I like having "instant friends" who have the same interests and sense of humor as me. Is that wrong?

Now don't misunderstand this post. It's not a cry for help, i'm not posting an ad in the paper: White female seeking new friend (wfsnf). I would just like some of your input on how I can maybe become a little more social.

14 comments:

Marc said...

You could always just marry O-Town's social coordinator. Oh wait... You did.

Maui said...

Step 1: Get divorced

then you can have a social life, married people just don't have friends.

tigerfoxbear said...

Ok Maui, this is starting to sound a little fishy! First you make templates for my wife, now you are suggesting divorce! OH MAN YOU ARE GONNA GET IT!

Billiejean, you are a natural at making friends, you just have to get outside and be around people to do it....

BillieJean said...

I guess thats the trick though. When you are married you don't hang out with your friends as much, or new friends I should say. So it's hard to get to know people when you can't hang out with them consistently.

So I guess what i'm saying is that, if you don't have your core group of friends that live in the same place as you before you get married, then you are kind of screwed. Well i guess that is a little extreme. I should say it is alot more difficult to gain a new core group of friends once you are married.

Do you guys disagree?

Marc said...

I say get out of Utah. Moving to D.C. would be sweet... I mean there's all SORTS of people here you could be friends with.

Mrs. McDreamy said...

Jill, I feel your pain. It is all too close to reality for me. I remember thinking it was tough to be in Utah because Brian never wanted to make new friends because he barely had time for the friends he already had and would want to see. Then we moved far away and it didn't get any easier. I feel like I am a friendly person and the initial get to know you wasn't so hard - it is the becoming close enough friends that you can just hang out and do nothing part that is hard. I still haven't really found that. Anyway, I miss having close friends too, but your right it is way easier to just chill at home and become best friends with Jim and Pam.

BA said...

I tried to start a cyber-affair with you and you just shoved my face in the mud, so don't blame me for your social woes.

Ali wants to be your friend.

BillieJean said...

BA, I apologize if I hurt your feelings in any way. I'm sure your intentions were totally honorable and you were just trying to be a good friend.

Ali, I am glad to have someone that can relate with me and I wish you lived closer so we could be bff.

Also, I heard Jim and Pam did not live up to expectations during the premier, is this true?

Mind Spewer said...

Billie, I hear you. I didn't have many friends after I got married because all my girlfriends got married and had to hang out with their husband's friends instead of with each other. When we moved out to Kansas, I started having girlfriends for the first time since getting married--since I was in school and saw the same people everyday and so had the time to devote to new friendships. My hubs had the hard time making new friends since he has a particular standard of coolness and anyone who didn't graduate from Orem High in 1996 doesn't meet that standard. I dragged him to a lot of church socials hoping he'd make some friends. Eventually, he just found some people with similar interests and started hanging out. Maybe you could meet new friends by joining a mountain biking club, or something. Or you can just chat with us, your cyber friends.

BillieJean said...

Well I think to join the mountain biking club, they also require a certain standard of coolness and may also require being physically fit! Which I'm pretty sure I would not meet.

But those are some good ideas. And thank you all for being my cyber friends.

Gargantus said...

you have TFB's core group of friends to surround yourself with! Aren't they better than your old core group of friends in AZ?! I mean, how many of them comment on your blog?

tigerfoxbear said...

I dont think any of her core friends know how to use a computer, since they are all imaginary!

tigerfoxbear said...

time for a new blog

Lindsey said...

Tell me about anti-social. I sit at home allday and do nothing. Even when I am supposed to moving. Whether you closest friends live by you or you live in a different state you have to make an effort. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself cause no one calls me to hang out and if I don't plan get togethers then I never have them. But when I do make the effort I feel better.