Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Driving School

For the first time in years I received a traffic violation. I was running late for work and I was taking the short cut so I could bypass all of the construction that is going on by my house. Apparently I was not the only clever one who new about this short cut, and there had been several people taking advantage of this residential side street. So as I was halling A (and by that I mean going 42) in a 30mph zone I then realized that I was driving right by a police car parked on the side of the road in plain view. First of all, I'm a moron. He was sitting right there for everyone to see and I deserved to be pulled over right then and there. So, I immediately pulled over and began looking for my registration. The police man was very friendly and let me know that because of the excess traffic through the neighborhood, they had received a lot of complaints and were going to be monitoring the street during the construction. He knocked my speed down so my ticket wouldn't be quite as expensive and then sent me on my way. So now it was up to me on whether or not I was going to just pay the ticket and risk having my insurance go up, or I could attend driving school. I chose to take the class.

I just finished the 3hr class (a heck of a lot better than AZ's 7hr? class) and am now reflecting on how awesome and sucky it was. Here's why:

1. There was the loud mouth guy with the hookers for hire sweatshirt on that wouldn't shut up the entire time who kept making HILARIOUS comments through out the class. Then peeled out of the parking lot after.
2. There was the older gentlemen who was pissed because he got caught speeding and continued to heckle the nice officer saying that they just had to fill their quota for the month and that is why he got a ticket. And that they just wanted to make money off him (I actually thought that officers did have a quota to fill and that at the end of the month is when most tickets were given. The officer let us know that they do not have any kind of quota that they have to meet. There really is no need bc people are such crappy drivers there is always someone to pull over).
3. There was the mom who thought it was appropriate to bring her day care to class with her (she had 3 little girls who were all under the age of 4 with her playing on the floor, screaming and crying the majority of the time).
4. There was the brown noser who kept trying to kiss the officers butt the whole time by saying "I just wish everyone would drive 5mph under the speed limit so that we could all be safer and more alert drivers".
5. There was the white trash lady with her juvenile delinquent son out in the hallway screaming at her 5 year old, telling her that if she didn't sit down she would be arrested.
6. There was the nice officer who showed us scary pictures of car accidents and video of couples walking their baby, little girls riding their bikes, and a guy going on a jog that were killed by suicidal maniacs, drunk drivers and morons.
7. I also learned that if everyone pulls up to a 4 way stop at the same time, whoever guns it first has the right of way. Good to know.

I think that about covers it.


BA said...

Can you imagine having to teach that class? Seeing those same morons coming in each month.

When I went there was dude who got all pissed at the officer/teacher because school buses don't have seatbelts. Then everyone tells the cop their story about when they got pulled over. WTF people? Shut up and listen and it'll all be over soon.

Marc said...

Sure cops in Utah may not have "quotas"... but they do have target goals that are considered in their job performance reviews, so it's basically the same damn thing.

Jenny said...

That was a totally awesome class! You made it sound almost fun to be there. I wish you had a photo of the sweatshirt guy with "hookers for hire".

jill said...

I don't like that tone Marc! The officer was very convincing. He said that if for 2 weeks he did not pull over one person then yes, his "boss" would start to ask questions and be concerned if he was doing his job. But he said there is no set # that they are given, and they are not penalized if they do not give out a certain # of citations through out the month. I think there is a difference between meeting a "quota" and doing your job.

I don't know if that made any sense, but it sounded good in my head.

Lindsey said...

First of all I can't believe you would get a ticket.
2nd, I didn't know you were allowed to bring kids to a driving school.
3rd, what a bunch of morons. But I am sure you were entertained and have lots of fun stories.
4th, what the heck only 3 hours!!

BA said...

I kind of have to side with Marc on this one. Provo city got in some trouble about 3 or 4 years ago because the chief said something along the lines of, "we don't have quotas but if our officers aren't giving out about 3 tickets a day then they're not doing their jobs."

So call it what you want, but I'm pretty sure there is some pressure to give tickets. Additionally, tickets are a good revenue source for the city (although illegal to be used as a revenue increasing technique) so I'm sure that the city is happy when more tickets are given out as well.

tigerfoxbear said...

Those extra people are part of the technique to keep you from coming back to the class. I've come to learn during my many, many driving school courses, that every class will have one of the following:

1. A hottie!!!
2. A mom who wants everyone to slow down, but is probably the worst driver in the world (literally).
3. An old gentleman who is convinced the cops are out to get him.
4. Usually I am there.
5. A kid in his early 20's who is trying to get attention, act tough, and makes annoying comments about everything.
6. The person who HAS to tell their story, because it is so UNFAIR that they were pulled over.
7. A brown noser.

Every class without fail will have these people. Your class could only have 9 people in it, and 7 of them would be the ones above.

Stop speeding, stop talking on your cell phone, and stop texting with your new BBerry device and causing accidents.


jill said...

I am so glad I played role #1.

Alifinale said...

Oh I have had far too much experience at traffic school. AZ's is the worst. I have tried to reform and have learned some valuable lessons. A) TFB is right, all those people do exist in every class. B) bring a book and sit in the back. C) each officer has their magic number before they will pull you over. For some you have to be going over 7 mph over speed limit, others it is 9 or 12. Learn the magic number for your area and you are golden. That is my secret for being ticket free for the past 5 years.

BA said...

Ali, you sure as hell better be knockin on wood.

Alifinale said...

I know...who am I kidding. It is only a matter of time before I am back in traffic school.

j+s said...

you are great

{lizzythebotanist} said...

i'm pretty sure the same officer has been teaching traffic school in provo for ten years. cause i have been there four times and he has taught it every time. same jokes, same's horrid. and it's true-the same freaking people--the 7 types--are always there.

chaffee fam said...

my experience was a little different- after two failure to yield accidents in six months i was sent to the hardcore class- is it defensive driving?- i was the only girl and the rest were a bunch of young idiots who were there for either dui's or multiple criminal speeding tickets. they- including the teacher- ripped on women drivers the whole time and would all turn and look at me after every joke.

stevie bevie said...

Jill you have fourteen comments prior to mine. You don't need to be begging the way I do. But while I'm here, I hate cops soooo much. Even when they are hot cops like Demi Moore in the movie Mr. Brooks. Mr. Brooks totally should have popped her.

stevie bevie said...

Oh and another thing. Compare tickets to flair. Jennifer Anniston was wearing the minimal amount of flair and caught a lot of crap for it. A police officer giving out a few tickets is like a Chochky's employee not wearing very much flair. I'm sure chochky's is not as rough on their employees as the PD is, so obviously the cops are under some serious pressure.

Melissa said...

I came on here when your counter was at 1111! I feel so special!